Divorce and Child Custody Video – Parody? Kinda, sorta, not really.

Okay, so, this video deals with a man after a divorce, and whether or not he’s still a dad, and what his child custody and visitation is going to be like. I like it because it’s kinda funny, but I’m also really touched by it, because it’s also WAY  too true of what many men and fathers feel like after going through a divorce and child custody battle, especially when they are unprepared or representing themselves.

I really want you to watch it, remember, DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU !!

Call me. Write me. Let me help you.

Solicit Murder – Lose Your Community Property Rights

From the AP:

Calif. bill would target spouses who hire hit men By CATHY BUSSEWITZ (AP)

 SACRAMENTO, Calif. The story behind the legislation reads like a movie pitch. The wife of a Southern California police detective, distraught because she had lost custody of her children, tries to hire a hit man from the Vagos motorcycle gang to kill him. Instead, gang members alert police, who disguise themselves as biker thugs and secretly tape a conversation with her, leading to the wife’s arrest and ultimate conviction for solicitation of murder. But later on, in divorce court, she is awarded half the couple’s property, even though she tried to have her husband whacked. He then calls Sacramento, determined to change the divorce law.

              A bill scheduled to be heard Tuesday in a state legislative committee seeks to close what its author says is a loophole in the state’s no-fault divorce code. In part, the legislation will specify that spouses who solicit the murder of their husband or wife are not entitled to collect financial rewards in divorce proceedings. The bill was prompted by John Pomroy, a police detective in Pomona, about 30 miles east of Los Angeles. His wife collected about $70,000 from their estate after she was released from prison in 2004.

I think this is an interesting development, and it’s great for headlines, but in reality how much time is the Legislature going to spend on this matter for what is in reality a very rare occurrence? How often does this happen? In 11 years of practicing family law in Los Angeles, Riverside, Orange and Ventura Counties, I’ve never seen it. I’ve had many a client who wanted to kill ex, ( and a few of the opposing counsels!) but most people are not this outrageously angry.

“I spent a hundred grand, now I’m broke, and still not divorced!”

If I had a buck for every time I’ve heard this same sad line, I’d have a TON of money.

When people are going through a divorce they are in a hightened emotional state and there are many, many MANY lawyers out there who know it, and take gross advantage of their clients. These are the “Sharks” the “powerhouse law firms”, the people who advertise themselves as ‘The Firm to Beat!” I call BULLSHIT.

In eleven years of practicing, I have seen exactly ONE case I can point to where a client REALLY NEEDED TO SPEND six figures. She came to me and said her husband had hidden 12 million dollars in the Bahamas, and the truth was he had.

Most of the cases where people are spending such large amounts of money it has NOTHING TO DO with the case, but with the amount of money the lawyers can talk the clients in to spending. I’ve gone up against the biggest law firms in town and frankly, at the end of the day, the results are the same, only my clients still have the bulk of their money in tact.

A client needs to have clear, simple, direct advice from their lawyers. I can generally tell you in the first 15 minutes of an interview what the most likely result of a case is going to be, and what is the most practical course of action. If you don’t get a simple, direct answer from your lawyer, odds are, you’re going to get a really large bill, and when you’re out of money, and they’ve dropped you.

When that happens, you’ll end up in my office saying something like, “I spent a hundred grand, now I’m broke, and still not divorced! can you get this over with?” Yes, yes, we can.

GEORGIA DIVORCE ATTORNEY QUOTES ME!

That article on 8 budgeting tips is getting picked up ! Alexandra Waddington posted it on her blog :

http://www.augustagadivorcelawyer.com/2009/07/augusta-ga-divorce-lawyer-8-budgeting.html

Keeping things neat and clean is crucial for divorcing couples. “Make copies of everything related to financial issues,” said Santa Monica, Calif.-based family law attorney David Pisarra. “When couples split up, bills are no longer jointly paid so if you are contemplating a divorce it’s critical to acknowledge the financial components that come along with it.”

FINANCE ADVICE FOR DIVORCING MEN

In these times of financial uncertainty, when a couple goes through a divorce the few assets that most people have need to be divided as fairly as possible. Most men tend to want “out” quicker than they want to protect themselves. Men tend to believe, perhaps rightly so, that they can recover financially quickly, and while that may be true, there is no reason for a man to take more of a financial hit than his soon to be Ex.

I wrote in my column for Divorce360.com, THE MEN’S ROOM:

Homes have historically always gained in value, and momentarily ignoring the temporary ups and downs of today’s market, always will. A home is generally the largest investment that two married people have, as such there is frequently a great deal of equity, and more importantly, future equity, in that asset.             

A boat on the other hand, as the old joke goes, is a hole in the water, into which you throw money. Boats are without a doubt the single worst asset a man can take away from a marriage. And they do it all the time.             

They are bad because they are dead weight on someone’s financial wellbeing. Boats have ongoing costs to maintain them, like slip fees, scraping and engine maintenance. They lose value each month and very quickly become of no value, and you have to pay to have them scrapped.   

 I believe men should not take a long term loss (Giving up the house) for a short term gain (Getting out quickly) it doesn’t make sense financially or strategically.

A home is the biggest negotiating chip you have, use it wisely, remembering that it is only going to appreciate in value over the long term.

The BIGGEST Mistake Men Make In Divorce Court

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE MEN MAKE

            Men and women react differently to the divorce process. Men tend to view the assets of a marriage as highly disposable. This is where most men, at least those who complain about how “the system” did them wrong, make their mistake.

            Frequently, when a man comes into my office for the initial consultation, he will sit down and make the following statement: “ It’s over, I want out. What’s it going to cost me? How long will it take?”

            As a man, I can say that we are taught from the age of 0, to be self-sufficient, to view the world in such a way as to take what we need, to build our environment. We are supposed to know when to take a sacrifice bunt, in order to gain a homerun.

            These traits are what make men successful in the world, when they are dealing with other men, in business. Those same skills, fail men miserably when it comes to the arena of divorce.