Children of Sperm Donors Have Rights Too

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Child Support, Gay, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Strategy Issues on October 1, 2010 at 7:38 am

It’s been said many times that politics makes strange bedfellows, and on the topic of sperm donation, I just found the strangest bedfellow a Los Angeles Family Law Attorney could imagine: Maggie Gallagher of the National Organization for Marriage. She has written an article on the Gay v. Lesbian case I worked on, and she bought the lies about my client without speaking to me or him.  But what’s interesting is that in 2008 she wrote an article on the how the children of a one night stand have rights that cannot be bargained away in court, yet the parents who go the donation route can bargain away all the child’s right, pre-conception.

She is against that, and thinks there should be a law requiring a database which allows the child to know who the donors are, she used sperm donors, and I’m assuming she would want it to work for egg donors equally.

But why pick exclusively on birth mothers? If children have a right to know their own biological parents — a claim recognized in international human rights law and one to which I am deeply sympathetic — there is no good reason to limit this claim to the small number of women who accept the agonizing burden of giving life to children they cannot raise.

Far more children these days are deprived of knowledge of their origins by a totally difference process: artificial insemination. How can we possibly countenance placing burdens exclusively on women who give life and excuse totally the men whose sole contribution to their child was to “donate” into a little cup, usually for money?

And our laws are almost totally to blame for keeping children created by reproductive technologies in the dark about their origins. The common law remains the rule for children created by sexual acts: I cannot bargain away at the bar my child’s right to the support and care of both his mother and father. The child retains the right to the support of both parents, no matter to what those parents have agreed. But if I go to a doctor or clinic for sperm, adult bargains are suddenly allowed by law to trump the child’s natural right to know both his biological parents, wherever possible.


If we are going to revise all our laws to facilitate adult desires at children’s expenses, the least we can do is require facilities that make money by making babies to keep records on whom the biological father is, and make those records available to children who turn 18.

I don’t see this happening any time soon, or ever frankly. The judicial system views pre-conception rights as separate from those of post-conception, and this not likely to change. But as we see more and more people avail themselves of surrogacy, using lawyers like Stephanie Caballero, we can be sure that there will be more conflicts, unless people use highly skilled attorneys to prepare their agreements.

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stephanie Caballero, MensFamilyLaw.com. MensFamilyLaw.com said: Children of Sperm Donors Have Rights Too : http://wp.me/pixJA-7W […]

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