Archive for June, 2010|Monthly archive page


In Uncategorized on June 29, 2010 at 11:23 pm

*Offer Only Extended To Raider’s Quarterback Kyle Boller

In Advance Of Marriage To Carrie Prejean

SANTA MONICA, CA – Internationally recognized family law attorney and gay rights activist David Pisarra, who specializes in representing Husbands and Fathers (www.MensFamilyLaw.com) in divorce and custody hearings, is offering to provide Raiders Quarterback Kyle Boller a free prenuptial agreement, and to represent him throughout any divorce proceedings from his betrothed, the infamous Carrie Prejean who lost her Miss California crown for breach of her duties.

Prejean, who rose to national fame with her very public condemnation of same-sex marriage in the 2009 Miss USA contest, based on her devout religious beliefs, and then reached international fame with the fight over publication of her “sex tape” is set to marry Boller on Friday, July 2 at The Grand Del Mar hotel in San Diego.

Attorney Pisarra says, “This is a marriage that has a high probability of failure, not because of Ms. Prejean’s bigoted and homophobic statements, nor her inability to live up to the standards she holds others to, but the fact that it is a marriage of a professional athlete and a celebrity seeker.”

It has been documented that in California more than 60% of first marriages end in divorce but what is lesser known is that divorce rates for Evangelical Christians, such as Ms. Prejean,  still runs at more than 33%.  This, coupled with a report conducted by Professional Athletes Outreach that states that two years after retirement, 78% of N.F.L. players are bankrupt, jobless or divorced, it may be wise for Mr. Boller to consider all legal options.

“Marriages of two high powered, celebrity seeking individuals have a much higher divorce rate as the stresses and strains of adjusting to married life compete for the needs of a round the clock media machine,” says Pisarra. He claims Boller’s high responsibility position as quarterback will put huge pressures on his time and attention, which in more traditional marriages are used to adjust to each partner in the marriage.

“These two will have by definition a non-traditional marriage,” adds Pisarra.“He will be on the road a large portion of the year and she is actively pursuing her celebrity with books and appearances. How can they be focused on building a nest and forming a traditional family? I just don’t see it.”

Pisarra thinks that Boller needs to protect himself in the likely event of a divorce, by having a prenuptial agreement where he can reduce his future legal fees, and limit any alimony.

“Should he not take up my offer of a pre-nup he can still limit his financial exposure to spousal support and protect the assets that he is bringing to the marriage. Remember Kyle, you’re the one taking the hits…not Ms. Prejean.”


Abuse of Restraining Orders? Protection Order didn’t go far enough?

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Child Support, Domestic Violence, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Perjury, Restraining Orders, Spousal Support, Strategy Issues on June 27, 2010 at 10:18 pm

I was forwarded this  REALLY SAD article from a friend in Santa Fe about a father who kills his kids and then himself. Ex-wife and mother gets an Order of Protection on what appears to be thin statements,  but then ex-husband and father, murders his children and commits suicide. It demonstrates the difficulty of family law, because there’s no way of knowing if the Order of Protection (A Domestic Violence Restraining Order in other states) caused him to do this horrible deed, or if it just didn’t go far enough.

Even after years of both seeking them and fighting them, in the family law courts in Los Angeles, Orange and Riverside Counties, I still don’t know if they are helpful or hurtful in a divorce or a child custody fight.

Pot Smoking Fathers Still Get the Shaft

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Strategy Issues on June 21, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Here’s an article on the effects of Medical Marijuana on Child Custody for fathers. One more way in which the courts are keeping dads from their children. I disagree with this treatment, and believe that a good father is a good father, and if he is obeying the law and has a prescription for his marijuana it is no different than if he has a prescription for Xanax, Valium, Oxycontin or a host of other drugs that are easily abused. And let’s not forget that pops having a toke every now and then is not that different than mom and her glass of white wine in the tub.

Obama’s Proclamation of Fathers Includes Gay Fathers!

In Uncategorized on June 19, 2010 at 11:05 am

The open minded father of two, President Barack Obama, honored today fathers across the country, from Los Angeles to San Francisco to New York to Miami with a Father’s Day Message.

It’s great to see fathers getting recognition, but it’s a shame it’s only one day a year !

Presidential Proclamation–Father’s Day

Father’s Day Special: On Fatherhood and Raising Men

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Child Support, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Uncategorized on June 17, 2010 at 9:22 am

I never really knew my father. Well, let me be clearer. I know who he was, he lived with me until I was 12, and then I lived with him on summer vacations and such. I have memories of going fishing once or twice with him. I recall fighting with him as a teenager, and the weekend before he died we had a great conversation, but I was 19 and in Boston for the summer.

My father was a World War 2 vet, but the way he told it, he was on an island in the pacific resupplying ships and it was a blast. He went to college on the GI bill and was salesman. He sold printing presses, then life insurance, and then funeral plans.

He was the 13th child born and the 11th child to live in his family. He was the baby who was raised by his sisters. Which partly explains his life skills, or lack thereof. Alcoholism took a hold of him fiercely, and it effected my family dramatically.

I am the baby in my family. I was the third son born, my parents were in their mid 40’s and by the time I came along, alcoholism was in full bloom and its effects were being felt throughout the family. My parents fought bitterly and viciously. My brothers, who were 16 and 14 years older than me, had more fully seen the terrors that I felt the repercussions of as a child.

So when my parents finally divorced, it brought peace to the household, but there was a cost. My father became sober soon afterwards, but I was a pre-teen, and parenting a pre-teen from afar is nigh on impossible. The job fell to my older brother Chris.

He was an island of calm, mostly, in a household of alcoholism and anxiety. For even though my parents had divorced, the long term negative effects of their marriage remained. My mother was struggling to make it financially, and battling with the bottle herself. My brother Chris took up the responsibility for being a father figure in my life and though he did a great job, and I love and respect him for it, he was only 28, and he had my father as his father. He was denied a good father just as much as I was, probably more.

When I look at my father’s life, I see the pattern of my life. I see how he was raised by his siblings, I see the lack of strong male figures to teach the hard lessons in life.

It is perhaps one of the reasons why I am attracted to the work I do.

As much as a mother can nurture a child, she cannot teach a boy how to be a man. Young boys need their mothers, but the more I think about it, and the more I learn about the way men develop, I believe it is the men who teach boys how to be men.

In the ancient Grecian state of Sparta, boys were raised by their mothers until they were 7 when there were sent to be raised by men. The understanding of boys and men, the ways in which we think and act, versus the manner in which we should act, these are lessons that need to be taught by men because we speak a common language.

Only another man intuitively understands my impulses towards anger, aggression, and sex. Only older, wiser men have been able to show me a better way of dealing with those topics.

Fathers, and father figures, are vitally important to the upbringing of boys. It is a crime in our country that so many men are sidelined by the courts, and their exs, when it comes to the raising of the children. It is the future men who are being denied vital life lessons, and it is our society that will pay the price.

The conventional wisdom that the mother is the better parent in all things is as absurd as hiring a plumber to fix a soufflé. Mothers are vitally important at certain times, just as fathers are vitally important at others, to idolize one, and ignore the other is philosophically imbalanced and illogical.

This Father’s Day I’d like to see an awareness of the important role that men play in raising boys, who in turn become fathers. Father’s Day is a day honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society, but to do that, we first have to really understand what they do. It’s about more than just paying child support and every other weekend.

At least, it should be.

Solicit Murder – Lose Your Community Property Rights

In Property Issues, Spousal Support, Strategy Issues on June 15, 2010 at 3:20 pm

From the AP:

Calif. bill would target spouses who hire hit men By CATHY BUSSEWITZ (AP)

 SACRAMENTO, Calif. The story behind the legislation reads like a movie pitch. The wife of a Southern California police detective, distraught because she had lost custody of her children, tries to hire a hit man from the Vagos motorcycle gang to kill him. Instead, gang members alert police, who disguise themselves as biker thugs and secretly tape a conversation with her, leading to the wife’s arrest and ultimate conviction for solicitation of murder. But later on, in divorce court, she is awarded half the couple’s property, even though she tried to have her husband whacked. He then calls Sacramento, determined to change the divorce law.

              A bill scheduled to be heard Tuesday in a state legislative committee seeks to close what its author says is a loophole in the state’s no-fault divorce code. In part, the legislation will specify that spouses who solicit the murder of their husband or wife are not entitled to collect financial rewards in divorce proceedings. The bill was prompted by John Pomroy, a police detective in Pomona, about 30 miles east of Los Angeles. His wife collected about $70,000 from their estate after she was released from prison in 2004.

I think this is an interesting development, and it’s great for headlines, but in reality how much time is the Legislature going to spend on this matter for what is in reality a very rare occurrence? How often does this happen? In 11 years of practicing family law in Los Angeles, Riverside, Orange and Ventura Counties, I’ve never seen it. I’ve had many a client who wanted to kill ex, ( and a few of the opposing counsels!) but most people are not this outrageously angry.

Gay Dads Are Fabulous Fathers !

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Gay, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Strategy Issues, Uncategorized on June 15, 2010 at 6:39 am

In a recent study on gay fathers, it has been discovered that gay men make great parents. They scale back their lifestyle, engage more with their co-workers and participate more fully in the society around them of parents.

This is beneficial for the the children, the parents and society at large. Coming on the heels of another study showing the benefits of a lesbian household for children, the benefits of gay parenting is being proven and hopefully soon states like Florida which have restrictions on adoptions by gay parents can be struck down in the courts, either of public opinion or in the judicial system.

The Unsexy Cancer – Talking about your Prostate.

In Uncategorized on June 14, 2010 at 7:03 pm

I write a column for the Santa Monica Daily Press, called What’s the Point?, and I wrote a piece on the difference between breast cancer, which effects 1 in 8 women, and prostate cancer, which effects 1 in 6 men. It got picked up by the website www.SingleDad.com, where I’m the legal expert.

So I decided to run the piece here as well:

Boobies, Ta-Ta’s, Hooters, Bongos. You know what I’m talking about. We likely have as many euphemisms for the female breasts as there are nouns in the English language. They have an amazing ability to send men into a stupor. I know, I’ve seen it happen.  A beautiful woman walks by and she has that hourglass figure, and suddenly the men in the room stop talking and their heads turn in unison like some Busby Berkeley choreographed scene.

            Women spend huge amounts of time and money enhancing the effect that their upper torso has on the male of the species. From pushup bras to implants, women will spend thousands of dollars to have a “better rack.”

            Songs have been written about the pillowy chests of women. In the musical A Chorus Line, the song ‘Dance 10, Looks 3” is devoted to how important it is to look good and admonishes one to “keep the best of you, do the rest of you.”

            We see billboards throughout the Los Angeles basin for plastic surgeons willing to take a woman from an A cup to a triple D and you can make monthly payments on those implants.

            They are by definition sexy. Breasts are a gender marker, they look great on a woman, and terrible on a man. The use of breasts in marketing is legendary. Women in skimpy bikinis, their chest almost bursting from the top are used to sell everything from cars to hamburgers.

            Which is why the Susan G. Komen Foundation has such an easy time marketing breast cancer awareness.

            You can’t miss their awareness campaign. Everything it seems is being painted pink. There are bracelets, soup cans and in the latest fundraising event, Kentucky Fried Chicken. This fundraiser provides 50 cents per bucket for the Susan G. Komen foundation. On the one hand, it’s awesome that they have a corporate sponsor who is doing such a wonderful event and donating money to an organization that is clearly doing much good.

            On the other hand, given that obesity is also a cause of cancer, and fried chicken is not exactly known as a diet food (much to my dismay I’d like to point out!) I don’t know that this is the best message to be sending people by the SGK Foundation. But I guess the idea is that exposure is good no matter where or what it takes.

            Which brings me to the male side of things.

            While 1 in 8 women, my mother included, will face breast cancer, 1 in 6 men will face prostate cancer. That means that a man is 35% more likely to face prostate cancer than a woman is facing breast cancer. Yet no one talks about it.

            Tremendous gains have been made in the detection and treatment of prostate cancer. I’ve known several men, some in my neighborhood, who have had to go through the surgery and follow up treatment.

            It’s not a sexy cancer, but it can definitely effect your sex life. It’s a hidden cancer, it occurs in an area that most men are squeamish about. The jokes about being tested are many. I remember hearing about one doctor who used to have a giant drill bit right at the level where a man’s eyes would be when getting tested.

            These days the test is part of a whole series of screening protocols that are done with a simple blood draw. So while the doctor is having your cholesterol levels checked, they can have a test done to look for a prostate specific antigen.

            The problem with prostate cancer awareness is that it’s not an easy sell like breasts. Men are traditionally scared of doctors, they don’t like talking seriously about their bodies, and there has been no poster-child for the condition.

            You’d think that the Prostate Cancer Foundation would be pushing for more events, and marketing tie-ins like the Susan G. Komen Foundation did. The playbook is there already.

            This is a laydown, Blue ribbons for the boys, bumperstickers that read, “Stand UP for Prostate Cancer” or “Go with the flow – Get Tested” and of course, “Real Men Get Tested.”

            Prostate cancer is deadly, it can go undetected for years, and men can and do ignore the warning signs. There’s no sizable campaign for men, but we need one. If you have a man in your life that you love, have him get tested, because the only ones who can’t get prostate cancer, are women. 

“I spent a hundred grand, now I’m broke, and still not divorced!”

In child custody, Child Custody Issues, Child Support, Parental Alienation, Paternity Issues, Perjury, Property Issues, Spousal Support, Strategy Issues on June 3, 2010 at 9:17 pm

If I had a buck for every time I’ve heard this same sad line, I’d have a TON of money.

When people are going through a divorce they are in a hightened emotional state and there are many, many MANY lawyers out there who know it, and take gross advantage of their clients. These are the “Sharks” the “powerhouse law firms”, the people who advertise themselves as ‘The Firm to Beat!” I call BULLSHIT.

In eleven years of practicing, I have seen exactly ONE case I can point to where a client REALLY NEEDED TO SPEND six figures. She came to me and said her husband had hidden 12 million dollars in the Bahamas, and the truth was he had.

Most of the cases where people are spending such large amounts of money it has NOTHING TO DO with the case, but with the amount of money the lawyers can talk the clients in to spending. I’ve gone up against the biggest law firms in town and frankly, at the end of the day, the results are the same, only my clients still have the bulk of their money in tact.

A client needs to have clear, simple, direct advice from their lawyers. I can generally tell you in the first 15 minutes of an interview what the most likely result of a case is going to be, and what is the most practical course of action. If you don’t get a simple, direct answer from your lawyer, odds are, you’re going to get a really large bill, and when you’re out of money, and they’ve dropped you.

When that happens, you’ll end up in my office saying something like, “I spent a hundred grand, now I’m broke, and still not divorced! can you get this over with?” Yes, yes, we can.