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In Spousal Support, Strategy Issues on January 25, 2010 at 7:44 am

“I love it when a plan comes together.” Those words were made famous in my childhood by George Peppard when he was playing John “Hannibal” Smith in that great television show “The A- Team” – soon to be a major motion picture. In the show, the team of ex-military men who had been wrongly accused fought the forces of evil and in the process the good guys won, and hilarity ensued. Ah the golden years of television, but I digress.

This past Sunday night I received an email from one of the private investigators I have working on a case. It’s been a difficult case, because the ex-wife has been especially diligent about covering her tracks. When she and my client divorced she was awarded spousal support in a very large amount every month.

Everyone who pays alimony hates it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, straight or gay, if you’re paying money to your ex each month, you’re going to resent it, and them. The spouse getting the money may enjoy the funds, but they need to be aware that with those funds comes a prayer each month for their death. Almost everyone I’ve spoken to, who has to pay, tells me they have thoughts of the death of their ex.

I think it’s pretty much a human reaction. Spousal support is a reminder of a relationship, and while we might want to remember the good times, let’s face it, it’s the bad times you remember when you’re writing a check every month. It’s like paying for someone else to go out to dinner, but you don’t get to enjoy the meal.

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