Tips to Prevent Sexual Abuse Charges

In Child Custody Issues, Strategy Issues on August 12, 2008 at 5:05 pm

I’ve written a piece at www.divorce360.com on the Nuclear Option that some Moms are using against Dad in a Custody Fight these days – CHARGING HIM WITH SEXUALLY ABUSING THE KIDS. The main article is about the effects of it, and how to defend yourself against the allegation.

From the Sidebar at


1. Have a video record of your visitations that objectively shows how you and your child interact.
One of the common complaints from fathers is that mom is misinterpreting children’s “potty mouth” play. Fart jokes can befunny, but if a kid tells mom, “Dad and I were playing with our butts” it can send up the wrong red flags. Having playtime on video can show how harmless your actions really were.

2. Doctors are mandated reporters, meaning if they suspect abuse, they must report it.
Be vigilant about what happened and why. When a child is taken to the doctor, be aware of HOW a question is phrased. In one case, mom was asking about a daughter’s urinary tract infection this way, “Is it possible she was sexually molested?” The way in which the question is phrased makes it almost impossible for a doctor to say “No.” This can be misconstrued by a nervous mother as “proof” of dads molestation.

3. Photos are also important.
They are particularly important if a child comes homes withscrapes and bruises that mom hasn’t seen before. Children hurt themselves all the time, but you should document as much as you can, so that if you need to defend yourself, you can show that the child is prone to getting hurt.

4. Keep a written diary of what you do with the kids and who was there.
Having a long list of witnesses to your parenting abilities can be crucial to cutting off allegations of negligence on your part.

5. If your ex is starting to wage the abuse war, you have to go on the alert.
Be aware of the set up situation — This is where something crucial, like a medication, has been withheld by mom and then mom calls Child Protective Services on the pretext that the child is in mortal danger. This can happen.

  1. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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